Sunday, 6 September 2009

Debbie Harry: Am I Belf?

'Dear Beelzebelle,

I'm in a band. I have the kind of coiff that, when other people wear it it just looks like bedhead, but on me it looks like what I like to call 'sex hair'. When my stylist comes round before a show, she's like Debbie, do you want the up-do or the curls or the sex hair, and I'm always like, the sex hair please. When I'm singing, I always look like I'm drifting off, thinking of Northrend. You know, or guitars. Or punk things that you really wouldn't understand.

If there was an Olympic Gold Medal for pouting, I would win it. Keira Knightley would get silver probably, which only goes to show just how big my margin of winning would be - she is like an adolescent boy and really I mean the girl has NELF written all over her. And I don't know who would get bronze but whoever she is I could kick her ass.

I believe that at age 64 it is still totally appropriate to wear hotpants. Sure, if you're Kylie, it's no big deal but I am wearing these babies and I am doing it for the sistas. I've never been able to rap, but I'm not above giving it a go, and basically I am so resplendent with coolness that nobody thinks to point it out.

I have cheekbones. I have logo T shirts. I will pose for photographs wearing those two things and little else.

As far as I know, all of the above makes me Belf, right?

Don't keep me hanging on the telephone,

Coeur_de_Verre'


Dear Coeur_de_Verre,

OMG you are so Belf. Debbie Harry, is that you?

Call me sometime.

luv,

Bee xx


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