My first raid

My first raid with PCG - Blackwing Lair! How exciting. It sounds so goth. 

So I had to make sure that I packed carefully. I donned my war helm so that I would look all serious about the raid. I have five bags and I thought I'd better make sure that their contents would give me the edge to make the event a successful one.

I made sure to stock plenty of low fat food - I like grilled fish for maximum energy without piling on the pounds. Of course I need mana but that seal whey is just going to go straight for my hips, so Morning Glory Dew it is. And naturally  I stocked up on all kinds of diet potions and elixirs. There is nothing glam about fainting on duty.

I had to bring some flat boots for practicality, but also I had to use a couple of slots for some high heels and some bling strappies - I mean what if I ran into one of my exes? Then of course I needed a cloak because I hearth to Borean Tundra, but when you're dancing with dragons you need to be able to peel off, so it was all about dressing in layers. There goes at least another two bags.

It goes without saying that I needed a whole bag for my little pet hatchling and all her accessories, you know, her cute collar that says 'sexy bird' all in diamantes, and her organic special reserve pumpkin seeds hand-farmed by pixies and her South American pan flute music - she likes to feel at home wherever we are.

There is so much to think about when you're raiding. I mean it's not just about how you dress people - if you're a warlock you need shards. I can't believe how much space they take up though! One slot each, I mean is it too much to ask to have stacks for these? I had to leave my hair tongs, tiger-striped tights, spare belts, neck scarves, travel foot spa and Grazia magazine ALL behind in the bank. It totally killed my buzz. I cleared out a whole backpack for those shards, and to make matters worse they are definitely in last season's pink, I mean what if I had been run over by an out-of-control herd of Shoveltusks - the paramedics would have found those in my bag and got completely the wrong idea about my sense of colour. Mortifying thought.

But I made the sacrifice for my guild. I'm a team player. There's no Bee in team. Remember that. 

While we were assembling the party I fashion-spotted this fellow Guildie and I have to say this is a fine example of What to Wear on any outing in Azeroth:

Virivanas. You fox! Purple and green! You are so bold. My god I am afraid of your amazing aloofness already. Those boots are so on-trend with the leggings tucked in. You're working the cloak and the Inspector Gadget chic on the hat. And you topped it all off with J.Lo hoop earrings! Work it in front of those dragons girlfriend. You are a fine example for any Blood Elf who wants to raid in style.

So the fighting. Oh yeah. I got through a lot of it without a hair out of place, thanks to the fine treatment of my guild. As a warlock with summoning powers I was a total VIP and they were all saying all the time, 'Don't let Bee die' and it was pretty much like being Madonna. Except in a dungeon. Oh wait but actually Madonna is probably in dungeons quite a lot. So actually - it was just like being Madonna.

We tanked. We spanked. I got lots of little goody bags. At one point there was a lull in the action and all the guys in my guild got out their little baby animal pets. It was so cuute!

I have to be honest, the decor in Blackwing Lair left a little  bit to be desired and it was quite musty and dark - these dragons do need to work on their ambience some. Even so, they fought well. But we fought harder. Right up until the end.

Mister big boss daddy dragon with the mondo halitosis problem had us all cowering behind a throne for safety. And I am not kidding, I'm SURE that I felt a Tauren groping my ass. So I moved to the side a bit just to get away from the bovine sex pest when WHAM, smacked down with firebreathing. Oops. We wiped. We changed tactics. We stayed out in the open. We died again. Turns out I would have been better with the creepy Tauren weirdo behind the throne. 

Before we could have a third go, I was hit with the awful realisation that I'd run out of shards. My guild were all like, bollocks, failsauce, oh no!  And I was all guys, I'm totally sorry. But really I hope they understand how I had to save room in my bags for my high heels and my pet bird's diamante necklace. I'm sure they get it. 

I've learned a lot. Not to leave the high heels behind, obviously. Just that next time, I'll make sure I have bigger bags.